Wow, what a ride!
Last December, I embarked on a personal journey by creating a Vision Board for 2024, a practice I hadn't done since the mid-2000s. One of my aspirations was to deliver more Keynote addresses, with TEDx being a long-held dream. And, just this past Friday, that dream became a reality. I can now proudly say, "Thank you for coming to my TED talk."
It was a very challenging, stressful, clarifying, and grounding experience. I had 15 minutes to share an "idea worth spreading," I decided to go for it by focusing on white men being more engaged in DEI (Diversity, Equity, Inclusion) work as Allies and Advocates. THAT is why I've done DEI since getting certified 20 years ago. I've always recognized there is an imbalance of responsibility and burden on those groups most impacted by unfair treatment, discrimination, and "isms." It isn't right for them to deal with being treated as "less than" while also trying to fix a flawed system they didn't create.
What if we Imagine a world where it's the norm for white men to drive inclusion?
The potential impact of this shift is immense, inspiring, and impactful.
Well, we would not be seeing the backlash on DEI progress we've been seeing for a few years now if more white men were on board. Recently, major corporations once reliable advocates for diversity, equity, and inclusion have stepped back or defunded DEI, like Lowes Home Improvement, John Deere, Tractor Supply, and Harley-Davidson, to name a few. In at least 22 states, DEI measures at state university systems have been banned or rolled back. (Stateline - Erika Bolstad - June 14, 2024)
DEI would be more integrated into everyday life, operations, and expectations. Organizational leaders would pause when making key decisions and explore how those decisions might impact their key stakeholders. They would ensure diverse perspectives, especially those not normally in the room. They would listen and implement recommendations to manage this risk of differential impact.
Leaders would have the comfort, competence, and confidence, as inclusive leaders, to build a culture and climate that empowers others and aligns them with the mission, vision, and objectives. They develop their critical thinking skills around diversity by building their EQ, Emotional Intelligence, by increasing their awareness of self, others, and dynamics around diversity. They own their Insider Group identities, see differences, and take action to ensure that many people belong and contribute to high, fulfilling productivity and success.
Most of what gets in the way of white men elevating their engagement and commitment are misunderstanding, apathy, discomfort, and fear.
DEI feels like a boogyman. Sure, if people see it as a zero sum game that doesn't support merit. But, this is a narrow view of DEI.
Let me try to simplify what DEI means:
Let's put it into the context of the U.S.'s traditional motto e pluribus unum, "out of many, one."
Over the next couple of weeks, we will see this on full display during the Paralympics, with TEAM USA competing with shared values and common goals.
To me, this represents DEI— and America
D (Diversity) = a rich mix of differences
E (Equity/Fairness) = all types of athletes getting what they need to compete and win
I (Inclusion) = broadening the meaning of athlete and Olympian and increasing individual and country pride.
The Paralympics happen because both disabled people and their allies work together.
Like other organizations, companies, and communities, DEI's principles create environments where everyone belongs, has fair and equal access to resources, contributes to making the rules, and can live their best lives - no matter the color of their skin or how they think, move, pray, or love.
What are white men afraid of? I get why there is fear. I live it almost daily. Because I "do DEI work" I'm afraid other white men will avoid me or kick me out of "the club." You know, do they really want me around challenging how they talk about women and minorities? What a downer! Or, I fear Outsider groups will not get beyond their biases around who should or should not be advocating for DEI. I don't want to have my good intentions seen as being a "white savior." And, do I really want to walk on egg shells all the time because I may say something wrong or stupid? I hear these concerns from white men all the time.
But, research shows that most white men value DEI and that having a level playing field is important.
To get the Insider/dominant group more engaged and committed, they must understand why DEI matters to them. Most white men I talk to say it matters for 1 or 2 reasons.
1. It's smart business- the diverse marketplace and workplace demand it.
2. It's personal. They tell me about their autistic daughter, friends who are transgender, or a coworker from another country. They passionately believe they deserve to live their lives like anyone else.
Even though I expereince fear, discomfort, and being bit of an outsider, I wouldn't change a thing. My life has been enriched by the diversity of people in my life. It's very personal to me, at a deep, human level. And, my business would not be going into year 5 if it were not for me approaching the work seeing, respecting, and embracing differences!
I developed a Continuum of Advocacy to help people understand what it means to be an ally or advocate. This continuum outlines the different stages of advocacy, from an Aspiring Ally who is just beginning to understand the issues, to an Advocate who is actively working to change policies and environments for long-term impact.
Aspiring Ally: You may grow awareness of biases and discrimination but aren't necessarily comfortable seeing differences. You might say you are "color blind." At this stage, you may hesitate to get too involved, so you usually take small and private actions. These actions include educating yourself about diversity issues, or having private conversations with friends or colleagues about the importance of DEI.
Ally: We mature in the work by developing critical thinking skills around differences and consistently confronting microaggressions and unfair situations. Others tell us we are an ally because we courageously take risks and step out more publicly to support them.
Advocate: We focus on changing policies and environments in the circle for long-term impact. We integrate diversity, equity, and inclusion into everything we do, showing up as champions, mentors, and sponsors despite potential pushback.
So, where might you be on this continuum? It's okay wherever you are. Where do you want to go next? How do you want others to know you?
To effectively drive inclusion here are 5 core things we should do:
1. Write down and articulate why DEI matters and how it aligns with your life's purpose.
2. Build awareness of self and others (EQ). Audit your social media and diversify the voices and perspectives you're exposed to daily.
3. Objectively Observe – scan your environments and name which groups are present or missing.
4. Take humble, authentic, and courageous actions. Join a DEI council or committee, or have a bold conversation across a difference.
5. Be consistently accountable. Seek diverse feedback when making decisions that impact a diverse group of people.The end product is always better.
What one action will you take to become a stronger ally and advocate so that good intentions turn into real change?
I'll let you in on a secret: Being an ally and advocate can be a superpower, maybe even make you a superhero to someone in your life.
At its core, DEI is about creating a world of decency, liberty, and prosperity for all. White men belong in this effort. To quote Luke 12:48, "to whom much is given, much is required."
We can do more. We must do more.
We have a unique role in driving inclusion by being stronger allies and advocates, by being drum majors for creating great places to work and live where ALL people are treated equally given fair access to resources and opportunities, and have the freedom to contribute to the welfare of all.
Want to see and hear more? Check out a rough video of the talk here.
this is awesome Sean! Great post...